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You are here: Home / Family / If I had to describe you in one word

If I had to describe you in one word

February 24, 2012 by Stephanie Sheaffer 18 Comments

If I had to describe you in one word, I’d choose hard-working.

But not in the typical American way, moving up the rungs of a ladder…while your family waves from below.

Not that kind at all. You work hard on the things people SAY matter, but then they don’t really follow up.

  

For example: you know your daughters, really know them. Because you’re right there with me. Taking them to the bathroom. Brushing their teeth. Buttoning up their dresses. Putting on their shoes for the bazillionth frustrating time. In the middle of the night, they call for “Daddy” (just as often as “Mommy”) – and you go to them.

You are not afraid to love people. Even the ones with wrinkly hands and chairs with wheels and hurts like a shadow over their hearts. You won’t get anything in return, but you give anyway.

And who is the one who mops around here? Scrubs toilets? Bleaches sheets? Tosses homemade pizzas? Chops vegetables? Keeps the garden? Kills bugs and weeds and bad spirits? Yes, you. Man among men.

In the middle of all that, you have a resume that is too-good-to-be-true. BA in Psychology (though you always say you should have pursued Business instead – and I agree). Masters in Christian Leadership. Prior experience in the police force, social services, and ministry.

Plus, you are a technology wiz and web design pro – I’m pretty sure you ought to charge for all the my-computer-won’t-work phone calls you get at all hours of the day + night.

AND everybody always likes you. How could they not? Because they sense that deep undercurrent of care. They also know you will tell the honest truth (so rare).

Anyone can go to a job. Push papers. Go to lunch with colleagues. Sit in a swivel chair. You’re good at doing those things too, by the way. You totally know how to wear a tie and work a crowd.

But you…you’re also different. You wouldn’t boast about these things. Most people probably don’t even know the way you love us so deeply and think about others so fully.

I want you to know that I know that you are anything but ordinary.

(And I am so grateful).

Filed Under: Family

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sophie says

    February 24, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    What a wonderful tribute to your husband, Stephanie ! My fiancé, soon to be husband, is a lot like Tim in everything you described, minus the kids since we don’t have any yet. I can’t wait to see him care for our little ones the way he does for everyone in his life already. Truly, a man like that is a blessing.

    Reply
  2. Jennifer says

    February 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    I love it! What a sweet way to share your love for your husband. I have letters like this that I have written for my children, but haven’t written one for my husband like this in a while. Thanks for the idea.

    Reply
  3. Vanessa says

    February 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    What an incredible post to your hubby! Often when you write about Tim, it reminds me of my husband. Tim sure seems like an incredible husband and father. I’m sure he will love having a third girl as much as my hubby does! :)

    Reply
  4. illinigirl says

    February 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Very sweet, Stephanie. :)

    Reply
  5. amanda says

    February 24, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    aww so sweet!

    Reply
  6. Jenn says

    February 25, 2012 at 5:09 am

    This is a beautiful tribute to Tim and to your relationship with him!

    Reply
  7. Eileen says

    February 25, 2012 at 5:18 am

    So lovely the words (YOUR writing, Steph) AND so true! We barely knew Tim and we had already realized we loved him like a brother. The sense of calm, peace and true-to-his-word air he has about him is unmistakeable. HE’S the guy you want to have around in times of crisis… in times of reflection…. in times of goof-around, laugh-til-your-sides-hurt, fun! So glad you wrote this piece in honor of him.

    Reply
    • Stephanie says

      February 27, 2012 at 12:48 am

      You described him well, Eileen. I can’t think of a better person to have around in a time of crisis (how he stays so calm and strong, I don’t know) – yet he’s also super fun + laid-back too. A rare and wonderful combination.

      P.S. Miss you guys. Let us know if you ever want to visit AZ!

      Reply
  8. Kristen says

    February 25, 2012 at 6:48 am

    Stephanie, we live similar lives… and I am so grateful. As we look at the possibility of Jay heading back to a “normal” job, there is a bit of sadness and fear on both our parts. Our routines will change and we will (eventually) settle into a new normal, but… sigh. So grateful for these men in a world where men don’t usually involve themselves in family as much as ours do!
    And this is a good post. Probably one of the best I have recently read. Maybe it’s because I know the uncertainties of life… and I am inspired to encourage my husband even more as we continue to walk thru them.

    Reply
    • Stephanie says

      February 27, 2012 at 12:50 am

      We think of you and your family often. In fact, I need to get another “update” soon. Are you still considering a move? Flagstaff would be nice…for us…and for you too. ;)

      Or – even better – you could move on to our street! There are quite a few homes for sale and rent.

      Reply
  9. Naomi says

    February 25, 2012 at 9:00 am

    I love reading about your love story. You two have such a strong bond and I’m sure that extends to your lovely daughters. The warmth between you all is obvious!

    Reply
  10. Kendra says

    February 25, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Love this! Sounds like he’s amazing, and you’re amazing, too – for your words that build up, and for noticing all the little things!

    Reply
  11. Kristen says

    February 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I also wish we had hung out more when we lived there. What the heck?!?!

    Reply
    • Stephanie says

      February 27, 2012 at 12:51 am

      I KNOW. What were we thinking?!

      Reply
  12. Nicole says

    February 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    He’s a good guy, that one! ;)

    Reply
  13. Darcie-such the spot says

    February 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Ditto what Nicole said. For sure.

    Reply
  14. ruthy taylor says

    February 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    It’s so great to read posts of love and admiration for a spouse (so often you find so much complaining online). Someone that amazing usually chooses someone equally as fantastic. Cheers to you and your husband!

    Reply
  15. Lauren at FAITH FUEL says

    March 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    I love how you love and honor your husband. Blessings to you both…always.
    Lauren at FAITH FUEL

    Reply

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STEPHANIE SHEAFFER

Hi, I'm Stephanie - a writer, mother, and traveler. I strive to live with this in mind: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" (Plato). [Read More …]

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